I Once Wanted

I wanted to be known, to be famous

To be adored, a demi god.

I wanted to be popular, admired

To have it all, to have it big

I wanted to matter

To be the in thing

The big thing on airwaves

The sensation on social media

The most sought after talent

I wanted to turn heads as I walk on the streets

To know that I got it all.

I wanted to speak and be listened to

To ever be right and perfect

To be it

Then I heard them speak

That it is not about me but God

And it pierced my heart deep

Why is He that selfish?

All glory to him?

I wanted some

And so I stopped

I stopped dreaming

I stopped trying to be

I was ok with being nothing

I was ok not mattering

I hid and remained ordinary

But now I know better

I know where to hide, where to be found

I know why He is selfish, I can see what he means

And I want to be part of that meaning

I will do my best and be the best

I will be his slave, his servant, his delight

I will position self to reflect his light as much

I will be aggressive to get hold of his call

I will move forward and desire greater spheres

I will seek his kingdom and its righteousness

And I will do this for him

Knowing they might reject me

Knowing I may not be sought after

Rather I will be despised

Knowing I may not be the in thing

I may never be the big sensation

But I will still do it

And in case all I ever wanted came true

It will not for me be

But for him who got hold of me

For I once wanted, but now I know.